The Staffroom

 

The staffroom occupies a special place within any school building, or at least it should do.

It should, at its very least be a place of refuge away from the classroom and one of refreshment.  It should contain a fridge, a toaster,  a sink, a decent kettle or water heater, cutlery, a tea towel that no one knows where it came from, some crappy lounge chairs and/or sofas, some plastic chairs, a microwave and a pin board for notices from whichever teaching union are active inside the school.

If any school does not have the latter then leave as soon as you can.  It just isn’t a good place to work in.

The other objects can be purchased or borrowed or stolen from other locations but the union board is something that just cannot be exchanged for money or favours.  It is a fundamental part of the health of the school because the staffroom is for the staff and not an extension of management meeting areas.

And it should be for all of the staff, not just the teaching staff.  Some schools have this arcane hierarchy where teachers are seen to be above the other staff of the school.  This is bollocks.  If any school has any kind of equality policy then that should include staffroom access by the cleaners, the cooks, the caretakers and everyone else who works to make a school functioning entity.  Well, I think they should anyway. 

Of course, a REALLY good staffroom should include a dishwasher, a telly, easy internet access via WIFI, possibly some kind of games console, non-crappy sofas and chairs with luxury cushions, an air fryer, some personal lockers, a decent number of newspapers delivered daily, a dartboard, a friendly cat, some good books that are easy to read and have bugger all to do with teaching and some kind of training device like an exercise bike.

A FANTASTIC staffroom would have an oven and hob with accompanying posh cutlery and pots and pans as well as a spice rack that Jamie Oliver has provided with a chef waiting to cook to order for you, an en-suite shower unit, various large framed pictures of Grace Jones (that may be a personal opinion), a wide-screen telly, daily deliveries of curries, fresh flowers, a spa room and maybe even a sauna.  And yes, why not, some hammocks. 

But enough of fantastical dreams. 

The reality is that there will be lots of stuff in the fridge that no one really knows who it belongs to, even the person that it belongs to.  There will be various notices about recycling, about what to do with the cutlery, about what to do with your dirty dishes and about the need to wash your hands.  Think of it like sharing a house and all of the lazy habits of your housemates. 

The reality is also that a staffroom should be sacrosanct.  There should never be any students anywhere near it, ever.  It should be a place where any staff member can unload their frustrations and annoyances free of any comeback because, let’s face it, you can’t do that anywhere else in a school.

Let us be clear, teaching is an extremely stressful profession both mentally and physically.  It is emotionally draining and exacts a toll that the majority of other professions do not.  The drop out rates of teachers proves this.  It is unrelenting in its demands and those who make their living educating children need somewhere to shout out their infuriation at a system that continually undermines them and the students that they teach.

Should a teacher be free to scream and shout and swear on the odd occasion without any retribution?  Of course they should.  The staffroom should be that place where any member of staff can let off the steam that builds up inside them.  And the crucial thing is that whatever is said in the staffroom – and some swearing is allowed – then it should stay in the staffroom.

If any  teacher wants to unload their frustrations and vent about a colleague, a parent, a student, a manager or, in the case of private schools, an owner then they should be able to do so without any interrogation nor sanction and, in the main, disapproval. 

And if, as I have witnessed many times, a teacher should break down in the staffroom then they should be excused and sent home immediately.  No questions.  No sanctions.  Just get them home and give them time to deal with whatever they have to deal with.  No repercussions.

A staffroom should be the place of retreat that we all need, no matter our status within a school.  It should be a place of comfort, of safety, of peace, a place of no pressure and a haven away from the constant exhortations to be the perfect human being in front of a classroom of impressionable young people.

Keep it safe.  Keep yourself safe